we cannot change the cards we are dealt,
just how we play the hand.
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
11:21 AM
Execution
i had a vivid dream.
it was 9:09am, and it seemed to me that i was charged with murder of a blessed soul, and my execution was scheduled for one that afternoon.
i roamed the streets, in an aimless manner. i quite recall some very piercing stares and weird looks in my direction, and time fashioned in an absurd manner. one moment speeding like the speedy gonzeles of brazil, one moment crawling at the pace of lacking ligaments.
but the thing was, i awaited execution. pondering upon the bible. catching up on prayers. silent wishes and secret visits, in my last hours.
and i awoke in cold perspiration. not because i was dead, but more so overwhelmed with a strange disappointment.
you put me on a murder sentence with the ropes awaiting my neck, and i would have run to the world's end.
why then, did i submit to the laws of men?
or perhaps, my ethics had indeed caught up with me.
faith, religion, crumbling upon twenty years of borne christianity.
and i pray the silent prayer, in a bid for silent forgiveness.
both ways, a strange disappointment.
the voices in my head-
Monday, October 29, 2007
3:52 AM
Founded
there is something positively negative about my life now. there is no basketball. there is no dim sum. its just bloody lectures and bleeding tutorials.
quite in a nutshell, its too simple for the liking. its wretched when the highlight of the day is waking at 8 while rushing off an office woman to the CBD amidst droopy eyes and speeding cars.
trouble needs to find me soon.
the voices in my head-
Saturday, October 20, 2007
2:55 AM
IVP
its the same feeling. that wretched dread looming, just like the match against Temasek. out of the game with a gargantuan bruise on the skull, and 5 fouls slapped on me (and i say, 2 thoroughly unjustified indeed).
i would rather have died, trying to save someone from the Atlantic. than watched, and survived, from the safety of a passing liner.
it is no wonder the ancient kings took it upon a personal glory, an honour. to die amidst battle, amongst brothers.
i do not know if i will play the game again, it has proved to be a disappointing disappointment time and time again.
this game had been my rock of humanity, my teacher of pride. i saw, acknowledged and understood my role in the game, and team. but so what?
a victory bestowed no glory. a defeat saw no shame. a supporting role amidst baskets and hoops, yet injuries in full abundance.
the Bulls were at its pinnacle of success because of Michael Jordon, not Dennis Rodman. the picture has always been painted that way, a tragic tale.
alas, Dennis Rodman had seven fouls to meddle with. and Michael Jordon hardly disappoints.
i reckon i will not quit, just yet. but the game will change.
i tire of silvers, for second is naught but the leader in a long line of losers.
the voices in my head-
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
3:57 PM
Respect
and he asked, of whom would i respect?
pride, laying down in earnest. spirit, belief in blind faith. love, amidst one against all.
and i realised. it is of what i cannot do, that i respect.
the voices in my head-
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
2:36 PM
IVP
my knees burn but i feel like a kid again, elbows unchecked on court, perspiration in full galore when ten pairs of hands reach for a loose ball.
i am happier. strange thing was, it took someone to tell me that.
the voices in my head-
Sunday, October 07, 2007
1:41 PM
Library
imagine me and you.
what happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object?
there's so much more, to study.
the voices in my head-
Monday, October 01, 2007
10:53 AM
Grave
my darling siewmai is dead.
so matter of fact, ain't it.
but yes! even you samsui woman might have realised. no one quite knows why Hong Yun Catering does not wish to resume the subletting contract with XpresSupper.
on corporate politics, management inefficiencies, and landlord-tenant relationships. caught smack in the middle, like that piece of gargantuan prawn wrapped with a suffocating layer of flowery flour.
bloody hell, i sound like a whiney grape wine. but mark this, i'll be back. we'll be back.
the voices in my head-
i love my girl. a love so beautiful, symmetrical, tangible
God loves me. a love so great, unconditional, real.
my life in a nutshell. working towards loves of sorts. beautiful, symmetrical, tangible, great, unconditional and real.
a page, deliberately left blank.
Love is patient, love is kind.
It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
It is not rude, it is not self-seeking.
It is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails.
I Corinthians 13:4-8
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