we cannot change the cards we are dealt,
just how we play the hand.
Sunday, June 30, 2002
8:10 AM
FUCK Pronunciation Key (fk) Vulgar Slang
v. fucked, fuck·ing, fucks
v. tr.
To have sexual intercourse with.
To take advantage of, betray, or cheat; victimize.
Used in the imperative as a signal of angry dismissal.
This just perfectly describes what i had just experienced.
Not the 1st definition, but the third one. It was fucked up trying to hold a rationale conversation with my parents.
"Eh, I'm staying over at..."
"Whose house? Whats the number?"
"Its mariott hotel, cherie booked the..."
"HOTEL? Excuse me, waikit, you're still a minor, and you have to know your limits. Who knows you may be smoking, drinking or worse? If the police barged in, and even if you are not doing anything, you would still be blamed..."
Excuse me? Welcome to the 21st century, Mr and Mrs Lai. Relating reality to hongkong serials in my context is a fucking joke. If police were to barge in, they would be sued for utmost invasion of privacy. And a definition of a minor is one above 16. I just had my fucking birthday.
I'm pissed. I'm fucking pissed. Those who know me better when I rarely get pissed had better stay clear before I scream at you, and later scream at myself. Fuck.
the voices in my head-
Friday, June 28, 2002
5:57 AM
The Aftermath
Block tests finally over. Marks may just be oval.
Nevertheless, the endangered species termed "class outing" was reinstated after chem block test today. It started off pathetically, with few wanting to stick to the original plan of ECP, whilst many had other plans like meetings, gfs and training. Oh well, we eventually came to the conclusion that marche would be the lunch point after eras of "you decide"s, "anything"s and "but i have..."s.
After lunch, we went on separate ways, with cP and naked shirley leaving the bulk of us who headed for east coast park. Fangxi, seowhong, xiaoyuan and julia took one cab, while sok, sipei, yinbing and i boarded the other. The other cab had a really funky driver who stuck his tongue out at us as we overtook him. Bleh, our driver was not that hiphop and his tongue stayed within his mouth.
Cycling came next on the programme as we cycled from wimbledon towards rocher. Alas, a roadblock had been set up and it seemed unpassable. Few wanted to take on the high way as the majority believed that life was precious, particularly after block tests. Hence, we headed for tanah merah instead. All in all, i acted a speed demon, seowhong acted the circus clown while julia and yinbing acted the innocent damsels in distress, resulting in a total number of 8 cuts, 4 bruises, 1 sprain and 2 soaring souls.
After 3 hours of male-anatomy torturous cycling, we finally collapsed in a heap at wimbledon cafe. The majority wanted to kayak, while fangxi, julia and xiaoyuan desparately wanted to get home. My sprained wrist screamed for attention, but somehow, sipei, yinbing and sok dragged me along to kayak with them. Apparently, the silver cert of kayak i had attained in sec 2 proved otherwise to my original mentality that I would kayak for nuts. All in all, the four of us, with sok and sip in a double, spent the hour over pacific ocean trying to capsize one another, resulting in addition to 8 cuts, 4 bruises, 1 sprain and 2 soaring souls, a further injury of 1 more cut, 2 gashes, 2 bruises and 1 head bump.
The day climaxed with three wet bodies squishy-squoashed in a cab headed for Singapore Swimming Club, where we washed up then headed home. The day was excellent, especially East Coast Park, which incurred much fun and injured far much.
the voices in my head-
Monday, June 24, 2002
3:03 AM
On Vacuum Cleaners and Straws
I have an ambition. When I finally stride out of teenagehood, I will set up a company. The company shall sell vacuum cleaners and straws. The vacuum cleaner shall be named Economics. The straw shall be named General Paper.
Both suck. Big time.
the voices in my head-
Saturday, June 22, 2002
6:35 AM
On Terrible Moods
Was in a terrible mood yesterday. My bike crumbled into pieces as I was cycling from school to home, with the chains entangled with the suspension brakes, the seat askew and the water tumbler holder hanging upside down. This masterpiece of abstract necrosis of my mountain bike must have been due to the combination of the circus clown diwei, the very heavy zhizhong, and the combination of two large masses namely yinbing and sok which imposed a weight that took my bike into pieces.
Still in a terrible mood today. I was awakened (as usual) at 10 sharp with the pair of my mother's fists attempting to ram the wooden door. Somehow, she fails to understand that the average teenager requires at least 8 hours of sleep. With only half of my lids bared, I was dragged from my house on the west to my old house in the central to my aunt's house in the north to my grandma's house in the south then to a superheated tiong bahru market for lunch. It was so steaming hot i was surprised the market still existed, i had half believed it to have vapourised into some gazillion moles of tiongbahrumarket (g). Then of coz, i was zoomed back into west at 3 oclock, with half the day gone and none of my scheduled work touched.
I foresee more days of terrible mood to come. Its infuriating to have block tests nagging you 24-7 like an incessant voice in your head, and you unable to go out with anyone. yes. anyone, which includes everyone which in turn includes him, her, her, him and them. Argh. It would be so much better if the time i had spent studying was worth it. But it seems not, knowledge which is cramped into those gazillion brain cells of mine refuses to be retained and stubbornly seeps out of my ears. I've 36 more hours before armaggadon. Seems to me that one of us has to get retained eventually. Knowledge or I.
Which explains my terrible mood.
the voices in my head-
Tuesday, June 18, 2002
10:51 PM
I'm Not A Boy, Not Yet A Man
19/6/2002
Ahaz. I'm 17. finally. As chermain says, its just one more year before i can legally booze, learn to drive and lotz of other stuff! Thank you all once again, for the presents, cards, mails, smerses, calls and icq greetings!
Oh well, i just can't help thinking too that i'm one year closer to death, and what will become of me in a yr's time? Exactly 365 days ago, I'd have never imagined I'd be in this state of affairs.
Time flies, indeed.
the voices in my head-
Its all about nox. It rocks.
Its all in the head. Its hate.
Last night, we finally went out. nOx wasn't fantastic, but it was loads better than pINK. Spotted jennifer and co., yinminG and her very drunk (female)friend, Mr Oakley and co. and kennedy as usual. Left with kevin after a couple of hours, and i heard that Oakley attempted to jump dalg and his 2 friends after we left. Apparently, his stupidity surpasses his wannabeelity. I reckon he's just a parasitic leechy protozoan who talks the talk but daren't walk the walk.
Today though, my discipline surprised myself as i pulled myself out of bed to get my butt to KAP at 10 (okok, so i was slightly late) to finish the topic on circular motion. EngKeat was at his wits end as we kept pestering him about ChengPing, and it was undoubtedly aided by Zhizhong's creativity, my innovation and Fred's butchery face.
Oh well, I think I'd better get back to feeeeeeesics.
the voices in my head-
Saturday, June 15, 2002
5:14 AM
PaaaaaaaaaRtY
Finally, the word party could break loose from confinement of my mouth. For days, I had to use the word gathering for fear of getting stripped, alas, a feeble attempt was initiated by daniel tan at approximately 10:15 last night, but not even one button was removed. (",)
Yesterday I had a party. And what a strange party it was.
Zhiyang arrived at 10:15am, 15 minutes late due to extraordinary eyes which missed my house despite driving past it thrice. We then met seowhong, tienfun, andrew, joshua and justin at KAP to get the drinks, styrofoam boxes and ingredients to make pei's cookie present...
After seconds of peanut-pounding and minutes of chocolate stirring, the chocolate was finally put to melt in the microwave. Alas, advanced technology failed us, and half of the chocolate turned out black. No, it wasn't morphed from brown hersheys to black aftereight, but to burnt hersheys. Oh well, guess the absence of cherie and jill made an impact after all.
After an hour of exclaimations of "no you dodohead, you bake chocolates like this...", the remaining 15 pieces of cookies were left to cool in the fridge while we made our way to Bukit Timah CC to meet duckie and engkeat. There, we played magnificent basketball, with seowhong shooting hoops so silently we could have sworn they were air balls. Slowly but steadily, the number of us grew, with frederick, yekeng, cherie, daniel tan, chiangming joining us...
We climbed that 80 degreed hill towards my house, and after a gruelling trek of 10 minutes, we finally reached our destination, and a frenzying rush for toilets robbed my wardrobe of every single towel i had. We were soon joined by the gang of ben, jonah, alvin, hsiang yang and pak; the coterie consisting dalglish, kevin, keith tnee, terence and weian; miscellenous figures which floated at odd timings like yongfeng, weeming, alex, weiliang, rui, keith lee and weijin; superwoman melanie, i-see-her-everywhere rainery and miMi aka xueying, and lastly not forgetting the sisterhood of bel and pei! Diwei resembled a general, with a handphone always by his ear, while leading his army of my classmates consisting of fangxi, julia, sip, sok and yinbing. Kelvin, zhizhong and jiajun apparated into my residence somehow without me noticing them, while fabian finally arrived with a bang. Not bang in that idea, but in the sense that his mahjiong table left a 2-inch scar on the oak main door. Closely behind entered yuda (pronounced fish-hit) and his stead, and yuji (pronounced fish-chicken) with his ahem (thats what he calls her).
Dinner time approached, and while the catered food disappeared in a blink, no one was bothered to cook the satays. This left a horde of people hungry, but still nobody was willing to help out at the pits except for weeming, yekeng, pak, joshua and zhiyang. A hilarious sight revealed itself upon my mum as she carries plate by plate of pizza into the dining area, where hundreds of prying eyes fixed themselves upon the pizzas, savouring the aroma. Moral of the story? Never work in a refugee camp.
After dinner, mahjiong, cards and gossiping resumed, while the debile attempt at stripping me caused weian's and kevin's crotch to suffer outpatient-like surprises while daniel tan faced a possibility of not celebrating father's day in future.
Alas, all good things come to an end, and the party ended at 11:45 with seowhong and keithlee leaving. Thanks to cherie and co. for the cool spalding basketball, to my funky gal classmates who got me wheaty combs and gel, with surprises everywhere, from front to back. Gazillion thanks to rui for the bottle, to dalg and co. who got pei and I that wonderful gift, to alvin for that funky holder and card, to bel for the chocs, and not forgetting pei for her pressie! Lastly, sincere thanks to Ben and Jonah who helped coordinate the party, and heartfelt thanks go all out to the 56 people who shovelled out some time to come over.
the voices in my head-
Monday, June 10, 2002
8:10 AM
On Conviviality
Today was weird. Monstrously extraordinary. We were scheduled to meet at 10:30, but oddly yet expectantly, only I was present. Moments later, Mingwei strolled in with that ever dazed look on his face and told me that he had been around since 7:30. Then people streamed in, and finally CheNgPiNg arrived. 11:45.
Before that, we were rallying for supporters to go iceskating. Apparently, the majority didn't want to partake in the most refined art of movement on ice, and a faction of us had to persuade and coax till throats ran dry. The entire interaction process took so long that the benches we were seated on started to boil, and i would not have been surprised if my butt had diffused into the bench.
Anyway, iceskating followed (at least for me), and despite the dry bangs and wet falls, shirt yanking and pants wetting, we had great fun. A most unfortunate high speed head on collision occured, heads flew and limbs soared, but when chengping stood up in a flash and was poised for her deadly taekwondo kick, I knew that nothing life threatening had happened.
After lunch, we caught Dark Water. Occasional yelps from the girls and the classic vertical elevation of seowhong was enough to turn the horror movie into an entertaining life comedy.
Bowling emerged as the next activity as there was practically next to nothing to do at JEC. Only zhizhong, diwei, duckie and I bowled though, and the rest were graciously looking us on. I won the 1st game easily, but duckie seemed to be aided by some divine intervention and scored a fantastic 169 on the next game, while i could only manage a feeble 134. Enquiring on his miraculous feat, he claimed to have consumed viagra... -ponders ponders- Which part of him did he use to bowl?
Alas, the day ended when the day ended, and we parted around 7pm. It was an eventful day, where most of us were bonded, be it psychologically through the scaring or emotionally through the time we had or physically through the collisions we suffered.
Deep from my heart, sincere thanks go out to those who could sieve out time from their mugging-packed timetables to be present.
On a lighter note, I've just made an interesting discovery.
Using the website language translator, translating fuck in english to french, its baise. And then translating baise back to english, its kiss
So the misconception that **** is to have sexual intercourse does not stand.
Censorships are now in place, due to the uncircumscribed circle of viewers which have now not only extended to my family, but to my relatives. -sigh-
the voices in my head-
Saturday, June 08, 2002
9:06 AM
On Achievements
Drumrolls...
I am pleased to annouce that I, Lai Wai Kit, after more than 4 days of gruelling exercise of brain cells and intense concentration of psychic power, have finally completed the chapter on AP and GP. The opportunity cost of achieving such a indescribable and inexpressible feat is of course forgoing the next best alternative of going out with dulcinea and the social circle. Indeed, the task of accomplishing such a magnificent performance brings about the consequence of floating numerals wafting through one's mind at all times, even during basketball sessions. Also, frequent hallucinations and somewhat nightmares of sigma notations come to life would haunt the poor individual. Hence, this sumptuous and superb proficiency is awarded blog slot 8/6, and shall go down in history marked as one of the greatest achievements of Lai Wai Kit.
Applause...
Alas, AP GP is just about 1/11 of maths which we need to enlighten ourselves upon.
the voices in my head-
Thursday, June 06, 2002
8:59 AM
Dreams
"Father, O Father, what do we here,
In this land of unbelief and fear?
The Land of Dreams is better far
Above the light of the Morning Star."
We all have dreams. weird ones. happy ones. fair ones. cranky ones. funky ones. all sorts.
Alas, dreams are dreams but dreams only.
We still roam the land of unbelief and fear, and panaroia weaves its way into the depths of our heart, timed to the split second, poised to explode into gatrillion bits of glass, each piercing into the heart, while the realm of loneliness collapses from all four sides, contrasting sharply to the happy times one had.
Ah, think I, dreams may last forever...
Btw, alvin in the last post was referred to alvin lim, not tan (",)
the voices in my head-
Tuesday, June 04, 2002
9:50 AM
Livin La Vida Loca
There once lived a ninja turtle who possessed a complicated mind. And he said this "If you make someone happy, he will still die. And when he dies, it doesn't matter anymore."
Indeed, ninja turtles are masters of fright and demons of light, but since when did heavenly intervention bless them with the ability to enlighten themselves upon the subject of life?
Nurul keeps telling me that I'm such a positive person, and i've been told that grins off my face would draw resemblance to the absence of silicon in pam. oh, and pam's referred to Anderson, not Chia. It was farnie viewing the funeral mood during the appeal period, it was positively humourous when i saw a dripple of spit flying from Jtan's mouth and landing into her fish tank, and indeed, it was utterly hilarious seeing someone acting bimbotic. And one thing, i so absolutely not hate anyone. I don't know why. And once again, Nurul tells me that its coz i'm too positive to see the bad parts of people. -sigh-
Well, i don't see a reason to bitch about life too. There's so much in life to be happy about, but trademark phrases like "life sucks" and thoughts of suicide waft amidst teenagers like us. Sigh, but maybe as keith says, I've learned to laugh, to trivialise... stuff that don't seem right. To laugh it off, to make a joke about it. It's terribly escapist, but what if the alternative is crashing headlong into unhappiness?
One fine day, the cold hardness of society will just smack me in my face. And then, all my fundamental principles, aspects of life, perspectives of humans and bonds with people will just tumble and crash, dissolving into a pile of debris beneath the heavenly enlightenment of this particular ninja turtle.
It will come sooner or later, and later's the better option. But as Hagrid says, what would come, would come... and i would have to meet it when it did.
But till then, this ninja's theory stays flawed. This ninja's blemished. This ninja's impaired. This ninja's alvin.
the voices in my head-
Sunday, June 02, 2002
7:07 AM
-enters waikit with a dazed look on his face-
Onequarteroftheholshaspassedbutnoquartersofanyworkloadhasbeendone
-so leaves waikit with the same dazed look-
the voices in my head-
i love my girl. a love so beautiful, symmetrical, tangible
God loves me. a love so great, unconditional, real.
my life in a nutshell. working towards loves of sorts. beautiful, symmetrical, tangible, great, unconditional and real.
a page, deliberately left blank.
Love is patient, love is kind.
It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
It is not rude, it is not self-seeking.
It is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails.
I Corinthians 13:4-8
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