we cannot change the cards we are dealt,
just how we play the hand.
Monday, May 28, 2001
5:30 AM
Its been a long week. My final days of freedom are approaching an end. Its like the hole of a vagina, you want to be in there forever, but if you stay, the woman will menstruate one fine day and you get blood all over. Anyway, that’s not what I meant, I was referring to the stupid O levels. I cannot seem to get down to concentrate studying. The existence of this blog proves my point.
I got tonnes of stuff to catch up, I forgotten all about the sec 3 shit, and all about eng lit is like a big slab of fuck to me. Unlike the depression club president, and the pyro-watsoever-niac, I am in for one piece of hell. Anyway, to all those reading my blog out there and is in 4E, if you wish to meet up with me during hols, please tell me. I need some motivation in doing my homework and revising, esp maths. Er… pak? Is that you volunteering once again? No thanks.
the voices in my head-
Monday, May 21, 2001
3:07 AM
hi. just failed the stupid physics test today even when i skipped doing the lit lesson. feeling terribly pissed now. dun fuck me out.
the voices in my head-
Sunday, May 20, 2001
2:49 AM
Just witnessed a horrendous argument in #tchs. First, some guy with assholes fitted in his ass and on his face barged into the channel, and sprouted some stupid argument complaining about XYZ. Then some blatent guy brought up the topic of tooh vs XYZ.
Then *bang*, i witnessed once again the blame falling all on XYZ, from the opening of LAN shop to the falling of Os.
Ha|z, human brains work in funny ways. No one, i believe, have firmly interacted with XYZ nor The Rabbit who pays fees on the hill (ToohFeeSan), but ever since TCHS was taken over, all shit was laid on XYZ for no reason. Yes, he's sucky, with that atomic bomb barren landscape on his scalp (which i believes he oils to much that could act as some solar panel), but still, who actually knows him?
Not that i pity him, but i feel sick everytime blame falls in wrong places. Not that i suggesting blame should fall somewhere else, but it's definitely not all on XYZ. Its the same for our class. Low socks, low pants, 4E. And true enough to fuck hell, its also the same for me. For humans, as a more general view.
To a certain individual, his life is now condemn. All missing things are classified under his possession. Actually, criminals are no different from us, except they got caught.
For me, when porn comes into play, all heads turn to me. <-- analogy
Ha|z. funny way people minds work. mine too.
the voices in my head-
Friday, May 18, 2001
11:36 PM
I just realised that my blog is under close scrutiny. A chimpanzee told me about it teaching me how to write better blogs if i lent it money, teachers discovering this site, etc. ha|z, thats why i adopted a personal motto : silence is golden.
Won't say much. Nothing to say, in fact.
the voices in my head-
Tuesday, May 15, 2001
6:13 AM
another spastic day
the voices in my head-
Monday, May 14, 2001
7:41 AM
Oh ok. Reading blogs really blogs things out of your mind sometimes. Esp one of a depression club president and another of a maniac. Depression club president, depressed? duh. or he ought to find a successor, but a pyromaniac who finds humour in everything including seeing the little cells on his fingers crying out in agony, finally falling into the pits of depression? (perhaps it wasn't) but anyway, a maniac finally snapping, a president still depressed. Funny.
Cannot understand why people take things so seriously. When a bitch scolds you, try recalling a page of a joke book. As the words of "why don't you .....", you try to cramp your brains with "Page 4, phrase 4 states that When Chicken Cross The Road". argh nvm, but my point is that people intend to overdo things. and overabsorbingthem. resulting in over-reacting.
Perhaps thats what literature teaches. But lit teach immature people to mature, trying to read between lines. But lit would bring disaster on mature ones, and mature ones are as defined by those good in lit, and that boils down to them initially already reading between lines, proceeding to dissecting every word and alphabet. No point here. But the implication is that when one scolds you, there is no need for a retaliation. When someone sneers at you, you need not snap (oh pak.) When people ignore you, you need not feel neglected. When people talk behind you, look at those talking in front of you. And finally, even when one backstab you, there is no need for a lawsuit.
Personally, arson is a better option.
Anyway, i'm happy today for who i am. i'm not stunningly handsome (though i am), i'm not bloody hilarious (though i am, once again), argh nvm. what i wanted to say is that i'm happy today because i take things as things come to me. i don't plan for a destruction of a life, neither would i sacrifice myself to bring a bitch to hell.
If i had taken many things seriously, perhaps i would be in the gallows now. Definitely, the world is a complex web, and i do not plan to get entangled in it. i try to step out of it, and view it from the outside. perhaps thats why this particular blog is so philosophical and to a certain extent, pak-ish.
Perhaps i'm abnormal. because the only comparison of analysis thinking is myself. and that isn't the humane way of handling matters.
Perhaps the president and pyroinsanity guy is correct. Perhaps getting involved in web-entangling is the appropriate way of doing things rather than getting out of it. Perhaps. Perhaps.
Its just perhaps. nevertheless, i am happier, or so i think. so why not try the abnormal way of running ur life?
Listen to vitc grad song, with mtv if ya can. its really enlightening. i'm starting to appreciate every moment i have with my friends.
Play basketball/CS/whatever. they're definitely better than plotting arson, or filing law suits.
Its just 6 more months, before we walk our ways. Treasure the time.
the voices in my head-
Saturday, May 12, 2001
12:40 AM
Just came back from nepal. Feeling damn pissed because i just realised that the Harry Potter books i bought for $8 each were pirated. believe it or not, i discovered that many pages in book 3 were printed diagonally and that really sux. ha|z.
on to deciphering what book four states...........................
the voices in my head-
Thursday, May 03, 2001
7:13 AM
oK. i realised i just screwed up my 1st webpage by posting 3 stupid posts one after another, but scv remains as scv, sickening cable v-shaped piece, which refused to upload my page after 20 minutes, only at the third click then i.........
never mind me, u wun wanna hear me rambling.
--dead--
the voices in my head-
Hi. As usual, I have to settle for a 2nd alternative. aWak3n|nG, my beloved nick has been brutally stolen by some extraterrestrial creature. I tried settling for Jefanick, since it was the nick of my stead, but i figured that it would bring bad luck since Jefanick sux. No sense but never mind. For your information, this blog (why blog? or blug? watever. bludger would be better) is created to spew nonsense and to counter depression so if you come reading this for some serious enlightenment, please proceed to www.xxx.com.
Er. Like pyromania, who lives up to his name, i shall also leave for Nepal tomorrow. It is in the sincere request of the President of the Depression Club who messaged me, President Of Interact Club TCHS, Winner Of The NYAA Bronze award, 14th position in class 4E 2001 Term 1, Power Air Rifle-list, Superb Basketballer, Archmage Veteran, CS Pro ... the list goes on............. to create a blog. Nothing to write, i had no choice but to get inspiration through President Of Depression Club, but as usual, The President is depressed. His Blogs are too. Hence, instead of inspiring me, i have to write blogs to cheer myself up.
And, its stupid getting caught pongtenging sch. Then u get whipped like some bee in the bonnet by a teacher, who screams at you, with drips of saliva oozing down the valleys at the sides of his mouth, and his words cranking out of his voice box without relevance to the reason of why i was caught. Ang screams at me about Ang, and then Ang gets pissed at me for Ang's behaviour + pongteng that gives a superb conclusion of incessant admonition.
Then, you get home, only to be walloped by parents, who classify themselves as self-commanding commandoes. "Believe me, Trust Me", bochup parents are WAY better than flaming jack-in-the-box, on in any case, jill-in-the-box.
And, you go to sch the nxt day getting gangbanged the 2nd time by a outpouring current of assertion that bears no relevance to you at all. ha|z, its a mean mean world. meridien. modal. interquatile range.
And shit. I just screwed up maths test. Ain't it lame when you missed 2 out of 3 of the lessons and you still have to sit for the tests?
Dal, please tell me its lame, and i'll tell u that ur brog ain't depressing.
Neverthemore, please pray for me when i leave for Nepal. Other than being kidnapped by yetis as the pyromania states, i hope i dun get lost in some ulu temple carved out of rocks in the mystic mountains, or get whanked on the head by avalanches. I shall be trekking up a 17000 metre mountain, and that is nearly 17 km, so i hope a plane flying at that altitude will not knock me off a cliff.
Between this stanza and the last, there was a 15 minutes interval, and as usual, another stupid interference from mrs-know-it-all, who insists i bring 7 bottles of medicine, stuffing them into my stuffed bag.
Ha|z. off to pack ... again.
................................................................................
Tomorrow is only a day away......................................
................................................................................
SeekerWK................................................................
................................................................................
the voices in my head-
Hi. As usual, I have to settle for a 2nd alternative. aWak3n|nG, my beloved nick has been brutally stolen by some extraterrestrial creature. I tried settling for Jefanick, since it was the nick of my stead, but i figured that it would bring bad luck since Jefanick sux. No sense but never mind. For your information, this blog (why blog? or blug? watever. bludger would be better) is created to spew nonsense and to counter depression so if you come reading this for some serious enlightenment, please proceed to www.xxx.com.
Er. Like pyromania, who lives up to his name, i shall also leave for Nepal tomorrow. It is in the sincere request of the President of the Depression Club who messaged me, President Of Interact Club TCHS, Winner Of The NYAA Bronze award, 14th position in class 4E 2001 Term 1, Power Air Rifle-list, Superb Basketballer, Archmage Veteran, CS Pro ... the list goes on............. to create a blog. Nothing to write, i had no choice but to get inspiration through President Of Depression Club, but as usual, The President is depressed. His Blogs are too. Hence, instead of inspiring me, i have to write blogs to cheer myself up.
And, its stupid getting caught pongtenging sch. Then u get whipped like some bee in the bonnet by a teacher, who screams at you, with drips of saliva oozing down the valleys at the sides of his mouth, and his words cranking out of his voice box without relevance to the reason of why i was caught. Ang screams at me about Ang, and then Ang gets pissed at me for Ang's behaviour + pongteng that gives a superb conclusion of incessant admonition.
Then, you get home, only to be walloped by parents, who classify themselves as self-commanding commandoes. "Believe me, Trust Me", bochup parents are WAY better than flaming jack-in-the-box, on in any case, jill-in-the-box.
And, you go to sch the nxt day getting gangbanged the 2nd time by a outpouring current of assertion that bears no relevance to you at all. ha|z, its a mean mean world. meridien. modal. interquatile range.
And shit. I just screwed up maths test. Ain't it lame when you missed 2 out of 3 of the lessons and you still have to sit for the tests?
Dal, please tell me its lame, and i'll tell u that ur brog ain't depressing.
Neverthemore, please pray for me when i leave for Nepal. Other than being kidnapped by yetis as the pyromania states, i hope i dun get lost in some ulu temple carved out of rocks in the mystic mountains, or get whanked on the head by avalanches. I shall be trekking up a 17000 metre mountain, and that is nearly 17 km, so i hope a plane flying at that altitude will not knock me off a cliff.
Between this stanza and the last, there was a 15 minutes interval, and as usual, another stupid interference from mrs-know-it-all, who insists i bring 7 bottles of medicine, stuffing them into my stuffed bag.
Ha|z. off to pack ... again.
................................................................................
Tomorrow is only a day away......................................
................................................................................
SeekerWK................................................................
................................................................................
the voices in my head-
i love my girl. a love so beautiful, symmetrical, tangible
God loves me. a love so great, unconditional, real.
my life in a nutshell. working towards loves of sorts. beautiful, symmetrical, tangible, great, unconditional and real.
a page, deliberately left blank.
Love is patient, love is kind.
It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
It is not rude, it is not self-seeking.
It is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails.
I Corinthians 13:4-8
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