we cannot change the cards we are dealt,
just how we play the hand.
Sunday, March 31, 2002
7:03 AM
Oh. i look weird in my new school uniform. People tell me i look better in it, but i guess we can't go any uglier with tchs uniforms, so i guess its an understatement.
Still, the length's too short, the shirt has strange button positions and ARGH, its so hot!~!
Why the heck does the material need to be fireproof and water proof?
as if people walk into firepits and floods everyday
sigh.
the voices in my head-
Friday, March 29, 2002
4:53 AM
Good Friday's today, and yea, Today was good.
went to church early in the morning, and surprisingly managed to stay awake! oh well, i'm aWak3n|nG after all. bleh, damn proud of myself.
then i went to queensway fixed my specs up then cine to meet her.
had lunch, went shopping, then snaked in a queue that lasted soooooooo long =( and finally watched resident evil.
heh, it was such a warped show, with a "planet of the apes" ending...
all in all, i had a wuUndDeErrRfü| day~~~
Absence makes the heart grow fonder? yea... i'm beginning to believe in it.
the voices in my head-
Thursday, March 28, 2002
3:52 AM
There once existed an angel who lived in white heaven.
One fine day, the angel fell from heaven, and descended into the pits of brown.
He cried, teared, sighed.
The other angels in white heaven sensed an absence, and they too, felt sad.
The fallen angel thus went to God and appealed. pleaded. begged.
But alas, to no avail.
The fallen angel remained in the pits of brown.
But today, the fallen angel felt bored. He boarded a taxi (a sort of transportation humans use to travel from places to places VERY quickly, and save LOADS of time. and is ESPECIALLY CHEAP when shared by many humans). And surprisingly, it only took 10 minutes to travel from pits of brown to white heaven.
The angels in heaven welcomed him. They wore happy faces.
The fallen angel wandered around in white heaven, knowing he has to leave. But strangely, little sadness fills his heart.
When he saw his beloved angel, what is left of the little sadness vanished.
And as he stepped out of white heaven an hour later, with his beloved angel beside, he realised that leaving white heaven ain't that bad after all.
The angels will still keep in touch, made easy thanks to a device invented by humans called a HANDPHONE.
Also, his dearest promised him that they won't drift apart, nor will he lose her, ever. And it was then he realised that he had not descended from white heaven to pits of brown
But was merely transferred to a khaki heaven.
The angel has had his aWak3n|nG. Amen.
the voices in my head-
Wednesday, March 27, 2002
3:01 AM
I'm in hcjc! Not rjc!
I'm in hcjc. Not rjc.
Sigh, its hard to walk away from something we love. We are attached to.
And it isn't made easier with people sms-ing me telling how much they miss the old days. sigh, as if i dun miss it?
as if i wanted it to end this way.
And it isn't made easier with my new class, a chinese speaking class who takes out work in the morning to mug.
And it isn't made easier that i can't join basketball, nor any other competitive sports for that matter.
And lastly it isn't made easier with mr pig face at hcjc and her at rjc.
I'm in hcjc? Not rjc?
the voices in my head-
Tuesday, March 26, 2002
5:23 AM
As she leans against me, i feared touching her hand.
As we parted, i wanted to hug, forever. But she walked on. away.
-posted by panaroid depressed sad Lai WaiKit 3:22 AM
Or so i thought
the voices in my head-
Monday, March 25, 2002
4:05 AM
i wish i could cry.
and hell yea, i try to make myself cry, drowning myself in R Kelly's If i could turn back the hands of time.
But no matter what, i can't.
Coz i ain't sad.
I'm just angry and disappointed. At myself.
Why didn't i study when i could? Why toe the line in rjc when i'm in it? Gosh... and now i'm learning my lesson the hard way.
A very hard way, with my life totally turning upside down. I'm frankly caught in the middle at everything
If my appeal worked, thank god. but no, it didn't.
But they didn't tell me earlier~! And i didn't turn up at HCJC Orientation! most likely the councillors think RJ peeps are bloody AS pricks who dun turn up for orientation...
And if i get to RJC's orientation tmr, i'll be like some unwanted surplus reject...
And my work is right bottom of the shelf now. I can't stay at S06 if i come to RJ
and shld i change combi for RJ? and even if i do, shit hell, thats LOADS of freaking work to catch up.
and if i get to HCJC? FREAKING more work to catch up.
and if i switch to arts? i'll become some science-reject-turned-artist
And cca? screw cca. from sec 1 i've had screwed ccas.
president of interact club? more like some guy who runs around like some mad dog and organises pathetic friendship day which no one would appreciate if not for the 1 day off. and armourer for air rifle? yea, who turns up twice a month. I should have joined basketball in the 1st place, but i didn't
And when i did, i had 3 months of experience which led me to the top 14 of the team, but would be cut when the team's cut to 12.
And now when i'm outtof RJ, i can't use it either to appeal in.
Oh, and there's a match tmr against sajc, am i playing? dun dare. dun wan to. dunno.
and the worst, her.
can someone please punch me?
-sigh- i foreseen it, i predicted it, and it was almost as if i saw it.
but i still went for it.
i told myself to tell her only after i can stay at rj, but i told her in the march hols.
now i can't see her, she can't see me. most likely we'll drift.
the pain will be deep, and eternal. for the both of us
i can't forget my pain
nor can i forget hers. coz i brought it on her.
i'm sorry.
posted by a sad me, oh wait. sad? no. suicidal 4:05 AM
the voices in my head-
Sunday, March 24, 2002
12:46 AM
PINK SUCKS. yes, both the colour and the place.
the voices in my head-
Friday, March 22, 2002
4:38 AM
Once again, wanted to update this 2 days ago, but blogger was down.
Yea, went to watch two movies in a row 2 days ago...
Was kinda cool. We watched Thirteen ghosts 1st...
Then after the movie, we had nothing to do. She had no civis (oh, this is a totally happening term invented by RI peeps to replace "home clothes"), so we had to watch beautiful mind.
bleh... it was nice too, though long and confusing
=)
And then i went to watch alegreia with cherie tienfun and mel at 8... and we all felt so useless after that coz the people were able to samausalt (<-- is that how u spell it?) like 3 times in the air, and twist their body as if their bones were made of rubber!
Then yesterday was founder's day, went back to catch up with the old gossip. And something totally awe-empowering, utterly frightening and an out of the blue baboonic scare struck me...
Mr ang is OMNIPRESENT~!~!, either that, or there's an idiotic informant amongst us...
Somehow, he knows about dalg and his celebrity, and mine too. /strange/
Oh, and we watched ALI. and ALI. sucks.
-sigh- today we collected our results. posting results. which surprisingly, i didn't get posted to my third option.
I couldn't make it to RJC, going to HCJC...
Bleh, RJC's aggregate is 2.5, i got 3.5
Appealing though, but i guess HCJC ain't that bad. at least i ain't in the grey dumping ground...
Oh, and pple are strange. Utterly strange. Either that, or i have a way in sms-ing really depressing messages. After i sms pple telling them i was transferred to HCJC, everyone went into a totally depressing atmosphere, and some wrote me cheering up letters, as if i were gonna commit suicide.
Lalala. pity hcjc dun have a grand orientation, but i'll be at hcjc on monday, and possibly back to rjc later on in the late morning to check out my appeal case. and definitely back in rjc on tues for Orientation 2...
In any case, to those who will miss me, don't! Singapore's such a small place. we shall meet again
the voices in my head-
Saturday, March 16, 2002
7:45 AM
Lalalalala, wanted to update it 2 days ago, but couldn't. Somehow this blogger thing was down.
oh well.
but nvm =) i think i'll be happy for at least a week, and nothin can get me down~
i finally spoke my heart.
Hmmz, i realised that i suck at proposals though.
Ok, this blog isn't gonna get organised at all, coz i ain't thinking straight. so i guess i'll just stop here.
the voices in my head-
Tuesday, March 12, 2002
6:45 PM
Whee~!!!!!~~~~~!!!!!!!
The hols are here =)
Time to mug, and time to finally go out with pple i haven't seen in ages
Oh well, i just returned from malaysia from a basketball trip, and darn, i injured my elbow like 5 minutes into the 1st game, and was benched for the remaining quarters and most of the other games. guess its just my usual fortune. most prob the final cut of 2 people would fall on me now, since i haven't revealed my potential (if there was any, to begin with =p ), so i'll just have to look for another cca like HISSOC =) or maybe JAP CLUB
bleh.
Oh yea, now that i've started to mug, i've taken to sitting in front of the comp again. And that means a new stream of movies =)
For those interested, i've already downloaded 40daysAnd40nights, Timemachine, I.Am.Sam and Kate And Leopard
oh yea, watch Alegreia nxt wed with three of my classmates. Coz all 3 of them are girls, they've given me the permission to get a guy along =) (for ya info, its cherie, melanie and tienfun). SO YEAHZ, the 1st guy who messages me and tells me he wants to watch it, pls pls pls sms me ya? or i would have to resort getting darren or hsiangyang (hehehe)
Will update this perhaps later in the day, gotta run and get some breakfast now. CYa~!
the voices in my head-
Wednesday, March 06, 2002
6:07 AM
HiakZ, had training today. Damn tired now, lucky i had the early dismissal, or i would have been a shagged shaq now
=)
-sigh- Just received news that my dad got into trouble with the company, and some deal had gone wrong.
Urgh... worse come worse, he might go to court...~ bleh. how idiotic can it get.
Oh and thanks, but no thanks, to those who nominated me as a student council. I WANTED to be, but i guess the passion has died off, coz i ain't really willing able to sacrifice loads of time for the council....
perhaps i'll just join O team or OPEN HOUSE team.
Oh well, Tomorrow's another looooooooooonnnnnnnnnggggg day. Mabbe i'll go pongteng some lectures once more.
Gotta go sleep now. Nitez all.
the voices in my head-
Tuesday, March 05, 2002
6:34 AM
Won friendly against acjc 74-49
-sigh- but i think i played really bad.
got burnt so much i think u wun be able to see me in the dark anymore.
and i can't jump for nuts either.
guess i'll go rest now.
(-)(-)
the voices in my head-
Monday, March 04, 2002
5:39 AM
Dear Lord
Please let me stay at rjc... And if i do stay, please give me the courage to speak my heart.
Amen.
the voices in my head-
i love my girl. a love so beautiful, symmetrical, tangible
God loves me. a love so great, unconditional, real.
my life in a nutshell. working towards loves of sorts. beautiful, symmetrical, tangible, great, unconditional and real.
a page, deliberately left blank.
Love is patient, love is kind.
It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
It is not rude, it is not self-seeking.
It is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails.
I Corinthians 13:4-8
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