we cannot change the cards we are dealt,
just how we play the hand.
Friday, November 30, 2001
11:36 PM
The Many Many Voices In My Head
Woah. 1st december. This is the 1st blog after O levels.
HaZ, before Os, i was wishing for this to come, but now it comes, i wish that Os weren't that over yet.
Boredom constantly creeps into me but anywayZ, i had quite an interesting week
The day it ended, we acted like beggars, sleeping on the streets of marina
Then, friends stayed over...
And, chalet!
Then, air rifle camp.
uRghZ... I believed i only capped 20 hours of sleep in the past week.
x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-
Now i return home, totally shagged, and as i prepare to lie on my bed, i spot something on my desk.
The JC entry form, and this was what went on in my mind...
Term 4 of Secondary 4 was a mind-boggling game to play.
I had to make choices, and mind you, fucking important ones at that.
1stly, I had to decide whether i was giving up on h. chinese and physics
In the end, i forgoed 48 hrs of sleep for h chinese and half-heartedly studied physics.
Which of course you should never try because you would morph into some zombie the following morning
2ndly, JC
Never would i expect to get an a2 for cca which i hardly attend, nor did i expect myself to get 6 points for prelims
Also, i would have given u the middle finger in your ass if you asked me to study h chinese, but in the end, i still did.
I thought about it for awhile, RJC vs HCJC
All these months, i've been only thinking of hcjc
This is because of the same culture and better facilities
Also, because of the -2 pts
-2 pts is useless now, because max is -4, and i am confident i can pass HCL and i got a2 for cca
For basketball, i figured i rather play basketball for leisure than competition
The last time i took something to the competition level, air rifle became boring.
And hey, its easier to be the member of RJC bb 1st team than HCJC bb 1st team =)
The only reason thats pushing me away from RJC is because of HCL
I may not be able to get a b3 for HCL in Os, and that would suck coz i gotta take it AGAIN in JC
Nevertheless, i told myself, if i was forced to take it again, i'm off to hcjc for the rest of my jc life.
Worse still, what if i fared worse in Os than prelims? that would fuck me up royally
I'm literally kicked out of RJC and i can't settle for HCJC since its 2nd choice.
and holy fuck, i would land in vjc or njc !
I'm no colin nor dalglish, i can't guarantee the 6 A1s, but life's a gamble.
And since i've always been lucky, i'll gamble once more...
After an hour or so, i've decided.
RJC it shall be.
New culture, new friends, new life, new uniform, new place, woohoo~
the voices in my head-
Sunday, November 18, 2001
4:58 AM
The Irony Of It All
If you got into a taxi and he started driving backwards,would the taxi driver end up owing you money?
If it's zero degrees outside today, and it is supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?
Why is it called building when it is already built?
If you drop a chameleon in water, will it turn clear?
If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success?
Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"?
If work is so terrific,how come they have to pay you to do it?
If you're not supposed to drink and drive, then why do bars have parking lots?
If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times,does he become disoriented?
If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?
Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
If horrific means to make horrible, does terrific mean to make terrible?
If lawyers are debarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, dry cleaners depressed?
If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?
Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?
If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?
the voices in my head-
Tuesday, November 13, 2001
6:21 AM
So ended the e-maths paper 2 test yesterday, and one more week to go before O level ends. I know this sounds silly, but i think i am going to miss the O levels, not the gruelling hours of studying, but the people i study with, in class and outside. I know many would keep in contact, many would organise gatherings, but sadly, humans have this strange habit of forgetting the good times and remembering only the bad.
In 10 years to come, who would still be together? who wouldn't. Some may have even left Singapore, some may even have left the planet.
oh well. here comes the last 5 people of the class...
Jonah Wong: Another of those whom i've known for 4 years. Remember attempting to steal his digimon in sec 1 =P coz i lost 4 of mine, and i remembered also fighting with him in sec 2. Then in sec 3 when i started going out with him, i realised that our families were of the same sort. He who has a jeffery-like brother whom he finds irritating, I who have a totally crappy sister, he who has a mother who checks on him strictly, I who have mother who is qualified to be a PI, and somehow, that brought us closer together since we understood each other's woes. I would miss him, and hopefully, his O level results would bring him to HCJC, where we can meet once again.
Daniel Wong: The holy man of the class, he's righteous in every possible way. Not over righteous to impress, but he is a natural righteous person. He picks up the litter i throw, he breaks up the fight we create, he cleans up the place we mess... This year, i became closer to him, and i found out that he's an excellent tennis player and a soccer player. Somehow, i feel uncomfortable being with him, because i feel that i'm scrutinised with his penetrating stare, and its as though i had to return home to delete 40 GB of porn so as to clear my conscience. Everyone who has a conscience is affected by daniel, this is because he pricks our conscience, and we would watch what we are doing when he is around. For example, I would not litter when he is around, because i know that would cause him to pick it up.
Gabriel: Beneath that massive muscle machine lies a daniel-like soul. He's kind, he's sharing, he's willing to sacrifice. Basketball has revealed to me what he truly is. He doesn't calls for fouls unless they're needed, and he's the sort who would give more instead of taking. Mathematically inclined and one who could fade away a distance of more than 1 metre, its a pity i would see less of you when you depart for RJC, and i to HCJC
YongFeng: His attitude pisses me off while his extra-ness in class could make me pull out my hair. Nevertheless, it was something of the past. As I lived through sec 4, i realised that his asking in class was something not to impress but it was something which he really wanted to enquire about. As O levels approached, i had a great deal of study sessions with him, and i realised he was disciplined and diligent, loved mathematics and spoke his mind. Unlike many others, he was what he really is. He hides little beneath his portrayed self, and he confides in people easily. Maybe he's a good actor, maybe he hides well, maybe i do not know him enough, but hey, "If you are so great as to see what the true yongfeng really is, where's your olympic gold medal?"
Justin Yeo: I don't know much about him, but from what it seems, he's one of the best debators around. He's also a responsible treasurer, and he's somehow like keith, not really sporty, and scoring a1s which secured him to be the top 10 for 8 terms. Nevertheless, there was one PE lesson that revealed his soccer talent, and i suppose i would need more time to uncover other talents of his. I wish you all the best, and if you were going into politics, my vote's for you.
Thats just about it. I'll be posting something about myself in the nxt blog i guess, and you guys can actually figure how much you know about me
=)
the voices in my head-
Saturday, November 10, 2001
3:38 AM
O levels are halfway, but i feel as though they are already over. I've been slacking for 3 days straight, and i guess i had better start picking up tomorrow. Well, here goes the nxt 10th members of 4E...
Neo WeiRen: As i've stated in previous blogs, i had always thought this guy to be a gorilla face with a gorilla build. His arms are of no visible muscles but they resemble a tree trunk, i once classified him under the QUIET group which zonghao, raymond, kianghu etc belonged to until the month of july when he ordered a CD from me, ordering me to burn 710mb of pure porn into it. Nevertheless, i shall also remember him as an E maths king and a great guy
Ng Junbin: He's beginning to pick up basketball, and always pesters everyone on court for the ball. Sometimes irritating with that "i- shall-always-follow-this" timetable, he's pretty nice being himself. Although sometimes trying to impress others with yuankai-labled jokes, his dilligence could match jeffery at times. Sporty, understanding at times and persevering, i shall remember him as the 2nd greatest mugger of all time.
Pak: Sux. Ha|z, actually, he struck me as a student councilor president when i 1st saw him in secondary one. Cheering his head off, yes, literally off, as he flings his neck forward with every OOOww of the rock-you cheer, i thought him to be enthusiastic and totally outgoing. Then in sec 2 as i saw him drawing attention, however unwanted it may be, during assemblies as he gives those silly comments, i forced myself to hear some sense of it, and for a period of time, i pitied him as the rest of the world looked down upon him. Then as sec 3 approached, the full force of pakishness hit me in the face as i became his classmate, and i realised how paked-up pak can be. Nevertheless, i thank god for breathing life into pak so i can be prepared to see specimens of it in the society later in my life.
Jeffery: 24 hours mugger, and i certainly hope me sitting next to him for a term has opened his life into less bizzare forms of sex. One who also tries too hard to impress others with strange fetishes and flemmelisation, i heard that he rocks at electric guitar. I shall leave the school remembering him to be a way-too-cool mathematician, chinese linguist and a physic-ian.
Solomon Tan: I still remembered how our friendship grew. It started with mentoes from the hostel, followed by me being his cheating partner in Plate Tectonics test. Then, we began going to recesses together, and i found a warm soul beneath the muscle pounding image of a "bad guy". Our relationship is at a peak in secondary 4, where we went out many occasions, and he also picking up basketball. I certainly hope our relationship will not halt here as both of us are most likely going to HCJC!
Alvin Tan: An over righteous guy who has soft but tuned-to-pitch vocal cords, he strikes me as one who also wants to over impress the entire class. Nevertheless, his over rightousness tips the balance and gives his true character away. His speed at cleaning boards is astonishing, and i shall remember him as the one pak tried to drown in the pond during one PCME lesson.
Hsiang Yang: His name is strange, it should be either siang or xiang, but its hsiang, and till today, i wonder if thats a printing error on his birth certificate. He qualifies to be in the SHORT club of 4E, but his small build conceals a muscle content which cannot be seen from the outside. A righteous guy, but not overrighteous like Alvin, he is one who will moderate our studying and could be a great study pal.
Keith Tnee: He's an owl, nocturnal and active at night. Leaving MIRC, i always see his nick still parking, and i wonder what he's doing behind the screen. Perhaps that explains his silence during lessons, but once or twice, a smart remark goes up, and the brand of humour he has is similar to colin's. We have to take a minute or so to digest the joke before executing a haha. A natural artist, and the top 5 canditates of BEST IN ENGLISH, he's one of those who is naturally intelligent and hardworking and what blossoms is a pupil who has been top 5 for most terms.
Darren: SHORT! And definitely, funny most of the times. Crappy remarks escape his mouth at times, and corny jokes too. After he reads this, he might be thinking of sending an sms to me telling me that his jokes do not have corn, and his marks do not have crabs on them. And obviously, he will not resist telling me he typed that sms in a mere 5 seconds. Nevertheless, he's okay most of the tiems and i've never seen the worse sides of him unlike others, hence, if i were to relive my two years in 3E cum 4E, his absence would be missed as a large portion of comic relief would be taken away.
Raymond: He has kept such a low profile all these years, and i could only say i can only remember him as a panda face as i leave the school. Till today, i still do not know his chinese name, and if he had not been my Nepal Roommate alongside kevin, i may even have forgotten his english name.
So ends the third 10th people of the class. I shall continue the last 5 later perhaps, gonna grab something to eat now.
the voices in my head-
Friday, November 02, 2001
5:57 AM
This language seems alien to me now. I've been staring at chinese words for the past 72 hrs, and i am planning to do so for another 72 hrs. Before i forget how to write english, let me continue with my class analysis
Kevin Lee: This elf is one i knew for 4 years. Strange yet humourous, he gave me my hugest scare during the Nepal trip when he downed vodka and started acting the goat. Short, Spiky, resembling a curly hedgehog, he is one of those whom i think understand me more than anyone else. But oh well... its just my impression
Qixin: I thought him to be philsophical and anti-christian, but later this year, i realised he was trying to seek truth in whatever he does. He seeks truth in religion, planning to be a free-thinker until concrete evidence of one religion is presented, he refuses to believe in anything until he sees reason. If in doubt, he is those who gives two farts and a burp for public opinion, and would raise his hand to enquire even if it meant extending a lesson. A good future business partner =)
Colin: One of the weirdest creatures ever walked on earth. And as he reads this, he would be smiling to himself and perhaps lighting a flame up his ass as he farts (yes, fart is flammable). A unique weirdo, with a bizzare sense of humour, telling jokes which i need 5 minutes to digest before executing a haha, but i realised he could be way normal, as i did on the nepal trip. nevertheless, he's also a light sleeper, and i found that out as i wanted to steal chemicals from his tent on the nepal trip, but got caught. ha|z. those were the days.
Rihao: I don't know how he manages to find that much dirt on his face to play around with. As i sit with him during sec 3, he explores every crack and crevice of his body (those that i could see), ears, nose, eyes, face pimples, uRgHz. but hey, he's a pretty cool thing too. He practises constant acceleration when wheezing the 100m race, and he's a dilligent little thing, though sometimes, we must admit, does the wrong thing at the wrong time to the wrong person
WeiAn: Oh, this guy is way cool. Hamstered face (i dunno, perhaps it runs in the family, his sis resembles a rat, his mum resembles a rat's mum), he's one of those muggers who can balance work and play. He plays soccer way cool, he plays basketball way funnily, and i'm glad he has finally managed to ditch the VICKS addiction. Once a constant pest who kept asking me for porn, he has finally found his own source, he's also those friends i can honestly rely on, with no hypocrisy and ill intentions beneath. Utterly glad to know you
Farand: Thank you god for sending him to earth. Without his endless supply of tissue, my mucus and flame could have flooded the entire classroom. Small, Short, Thin, Light, i'm surprised he ain't blown by the wind, but this guy has taught me a precious lesson, that small guys have nasty tempers too. Once, i pissed him off so badly, when i asked for tissue (again), he spat in it, and threw it at me. =~~(
Yuda: Although i only know him for 2 yrs, its as if i knew him for 4 years. Maybe its an illusion as darren puts it, but he's a cool guy. Very temperamental though with superb mood swings, he's a pretty nice guy to be with. His cheeks are still uneroded by countless pinches, and luckily my dick has been trained to withstand incessant punches from his fist. No we ain't gays, and speaking of relationships, i just realised i shared a relationship which was pretty close to his stage, and in near future, we could talk it out.
Definitely i would not miss you as a friend if i were to relive my 2 years
Yuji: This is one of the most interesting characters in the class. He speaks non-stop, quarelling 24 hrs on the basketball court with his teammates, and as i play soccer on opposing team, his tongue continues to exercise as his voice wafts through the air. Fighting with him nearly every year, and patching up like a week after, i think my relationship with him has dipped as low to the punchy nose squasher bingxun now in hcjc, and rose as high as some of my best best bestest friends. And yes, i think he could be classified under my group of bestest friends!
YuanKai: Sitting beside him for a term has revealed to me an interesting character, he cheats during most tests, is my best cheating partner so far, and was once a potentially millionaire-to-be, but due to unforseen cirumstances was taken off the show. A great guy in size and character, but definitely puny at times in intellect. ARGH! speak to him and you will know what i mean. He has a bottomless pit (yea i guess so, judging from that sizE) of lame jokes, which could sweep junbin and darren off the stage. He once told me a joke: about a red car , a purple car , a temple and a rich guy, which turned out to haunt me for 7 days straight.
.......to be continued
the voices in my head-
i love my girl. a love so beautiful, symmetrical, tangible
God loves me. a love so great, unconditional, real.
my life in a nutshell. working towards loves of sorts. beautiful, symmetrical, tangible, great, unconditional and real.
a page, deliberately left blank.
Love is patient, love is kind.
It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
It is not rude, it is not self-seeking.
It is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails.
I Corinthians 13:4-8
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