a W a k 3 n | n G *

Wednesday, December 23, 2009
8:21 AM

The Curious Case

i think i'm mad.

when it doesn't matter anymore, i desire to put myself on Dean's List. and come out top of the bell.
when i already have a job, i stride into every assessment centre confidence reeking. and i come out polished.

the curious case of an awakening.

and if some random freshmen wander here, my advice would be to seek excellence in early years. because it is these years that matter most.
internships. job applications. they don't look at your grades in the final semesters.

the voices in my head-

Saturday, November 28, 2009
3:40 PM

Faceless

meeting up with some of the people who are behind the driving force of economics and politics and social issues, it was interesting to see how they speak of millions like a golf ball in their yard. or how having tea with the dignitaries seemed like breakfast in bed.

in some decades, perhaps i could be just like them. for if it is true, that is frightening power. but if it isn't, what difference is there from a primary two kid bragging about his newest card in his pokemon collection?

the voices in my head-

Saturday, November 14, 2009
9:58 PM

Tuition

as my students took on their final paper at O levels last friday, i look back and smiled.

yes, i started off taking on 14 students each week, from General Paper to chemistry, from math to literature. an extra of three thousand dollars was somewhat attractive to an army boy.

but as it passed, this moulded me. accountability. responsiblity. and a little on humanity. sometimes, it really ain't about the money.

i refused the parting cheques, and smiled. but going forward, what would my next move on the chess set be?

the voices in my head-

Tuesday, November 03, 2009
12:25 AM

Failures

there were some kristals on that glass office of meryl lynch.

no wonder john thain was forced to retire, and the team just fell flat.

the voices in my head-

Thursday, October 22, 2009
11:34 AM

Click Click

there is an ethical issue to applying for jobs, isn't there.

let's just say that online assessment A prepares me for online assessment B which in turns prepares me for online assessment C.

and yes, after sweeping the questions in online assessment C, i proceed to interview C that prepares me for interview D, which in turns prepares me for interview E.

ah, but it doesn't stop there. interviewer E puts me through to assessment centre E that prepares me for assessment centre F which in turns prepares me for assessment centre G.

hoho. and it is the assessors in G that recommends me for panel interview G that prepares me for panel interview H which in turns prepares me for panel interview I. and lo and behold, firm I offers me the job.

and hell, what if i turn down firm I for firm J at the end of the day? alas, i would have denied 18 other poor souls their access to the next stage of where they could have been.
so many ethical issues running through my mind. but the fact is, and remains - everyone is doing just that, ain't it.

362 applications, and counting.

the voices in my head-

Sunday, October 04, 2009
11:15 AM

Job Hunt

great pay. great exposure.

alas, this greatness was defined by the masses.

the voices in my head-

Monday, August 31, 2009
8:31 PM

Performer

twenty five years on stage.

it had been a colourful journey, sometimes on stage for the right reasons that would make his mum glow. first in class for a couple of years, first in cohort too for a wee bit. you never knew did you.
but of course, sometimes for the wrong reasons, for the cane and for the spank. three layers of underwear padded with sheets of toilet roll. you knew it didn't you.

and yes, there were times that weren't right or wrong. like crying at prom night or dancing to the beat of the balls.

in a few months, the performer would cease performing. the curtain would fall for the last time, and he would have to make the choice of exiting left or right. each exit would open a new door, and it would have been the first time the performer was off-stage. no more masks of make-believe, no more spotlights of attention, just a plain walk down the park.

and this irks the performer. not the scary plain walk. but because he is undecided between left, or right.

the voices in my head-

Saturday, August 15, 2009
2:20 AM

Stake

i know there is so much at stake, but i know not what.

the voices in my head-

Wednesday, July 08, 2009
9:57 PM

Fifty

walking down millenia for lunch today with a colleague, we were tailing this strangely beautiful lady. i think it was the dress she donned, a myriad of bright colours splashed all over.

much like what the aunties put on when haggling at the wet market, but this lady was able to pull it off. a tad too tall, she stood half a head shorter with her shiny heels on. and then suddenly, a blue note of fifty fluttered from her purse.

she bent over. i wished.

instead, she halted in her tracks and her carbonated eyes followed the note. which i picked up.

"finders' keepers."

she was stunned. but even then, she was pretty. probably the 2nd prettiest in the world. and so it was for five seconds, and then the spark in her eyes started to gleam dangerously.

hastily. "i'm joking."

"and i'm crystalle," with a smile, before snatching the blue fifty and skipping off.

it was, of course, the highlight of my day. but when i related this to the prettiest girl in the world, my girlfriend. she wasn't quite pleased.

the voices in my head-

Friday, June 19, 2009
7:44 PM

24

you know these questions we ask.
where do we start. which career is right. how's the progression. what is my direction in life. principles. morals. ethics. how do we love.

never once had i heard two concur. why then, do we ask. the assaurance that we're doing the right thing i would suppose?
silly isn't it. to seek assurance from another, vastly different from yourself and the rest of the world. just like how you are. the blind leading the blind.

and as i turned 24 last night, i pondered such questions again. why why why. and i realised, sometimes we spend more time thinking such whys than putting ourselves on the line. it is after all easier to think than act.

i wished a wish of faith hope and happiness. and as i glanced leftways, i just know. all that remains is when and how.

the voices in my head-

Sunday, May 31, 2009
1:01 AM

I

i sought to write a story about a boy and his pets, but with age comes maturity. and yes, the story didn't quite take flight.

i learnt that it doesn't pay to change another, especially if it were the embryonic form which drew the heart. yet, the lesson ain't learnt well.

i learn now that i need change, because my quiescence ain't tranquility. but a state of boredom. yet, there is this equation that needs to be delicately balanced, because over-the-top as mr spellman says would lead to a repeat of history while none-at-work would have a little bit of me die each day.

i realised, that each paragraph begins with, i.

the voices in my head-

Monday, May 11, 2009
7:07 PM

Perspectives

on random strangers knowing, so much.
saturday was a gentle reminder on how our pasts could catch up with us. from a retrospective viewpoint.

on He knowing all, and more.
sunday was that same reminder, the little paths we walk today would affect our humble tomorrows. this time, a prospective angle.

retrospective. prospective. it is a matter of perspectives ain't it.

the voices in my head-

Friday, April 24, 2009
1:14 AM

Les Miz

Gavroche, the unloved son. lived on his own, a street urchin of sorts.
92-01

Enjolras, king of the revolutionary students.
02-03

Thénardier, master of the house, the corrupt innkeeper ethics of naught.
04-06

Javert, the obsessive inspector governed by his morals, who continuously hunts, tracks down, and loses. strived to excel, poised for failure.
06-09

when would i, be Jean Valjean.

the voices in my head-

Thursday, April 16, 2009
10:26 PM

Life of a Perfectionist

there is so much at stake here. i can't screw it up, any of it.

the voices in my head-

Friday, April 10, 2009
12:15 PM

Bond

i read an article on scholarship bonds, and how it is immoral to break such bonds. so what if one had money to compensate, the article commented. a scholarship bond is representative of more than money, it is an opportunity that could have been presented to someone else if one had not taken it up in the first place.

but truly, in the crude spirit of meritocracy, doesn't the individual under a scholarship have the right to break it. after all, he deserved the scholarship on merit - and at the juncture of decision-making, chose the route that suited him best.

what then, about acceptance of an internship. while still going on other interviews.

it is, a troubling issue. the balance of excellence and morals.

the voices in my head-