we cannot change the cards we are dealt,
just how we play the hand.
Tuesday, March 11, 2014
2:00 PM
Same Same, But Different
the waitress was intrigued. she asked me why i came into the cafe the same time each day, alone and carrying the same bubble tea i just ordered from next door, ordering the same dish, typing on the laptop as i wait for the food, finishing up within 8 minutes, and leaving the same tip.
i told her, this breeds efficiency. the restaurant staff no longer asks for my order, just a nod of acknowledgement. they bring the check when i put down the chopsticks. they provide that extra bowl even before i ask.
and then she confided. not in verbatim but of essence -
but this is what i am too. clockwork efficiency. i am the first college graduate in four generations. i have finally moved to the city after twelve years in the farm. at age twenty six, i'm managing the chain and a team of eight. i draw top dollar of 50,000 pesos a month, half of which i send back home.
my father was not so lucky though. i inherited this trait from him, but he was labelled an outcast in the village school. he's still stuck in his first role since he joined, and reports to my cousin.
same trait. three people. different outcomes.
i learned today that our success today is not entirely ours to claim, for no one is entirely responsible for his circumstance. in the meritocratic cooker we are brought up in, we rise with success we claim rights to, but perhaps we should not forget the circumstances that accompany us - that we have no control.
and by not forgetting. we remember the ones whose circumstances are different, and therein stems empathy. it is bizzare that i should quote a man walking to the gallows, but perhaps dead men tell no lies.
empathy. a rich man would look at a poor man, not with sympathy, feeling sorrow for the unfortunate poverty, but also not with contempt, feeling disdain for the man's poverish state, but with empathy, which means the rich man would put himself in the poor man's shoes, feel what the poor man is feeling, and understand what it is to be the poor man.
empathy breeds proper judgement. sympathy breeds sorrow. contempt breeds arrogance. neither are proper judgements because they're based on emotions. that's why two people can look at the same situation and have totally different views. we all feel differently about a lot of things. empathy gives you an inside view. it doesn't say "if that was me...", empathy says, "that is me."
the voices in my head-
i love my girl. a love so beautiful, symmetrical, tangible
God loves me. a love so great, unconditional, real.
my life in a nutshell. working towards loves of sorts. beautiful, symmetrical, tangible, great, unconditional and real.
a page, deliberately left blank.
Love is patient, love is kind.
It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
It is not rude, it is not self-seeking.
It is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails.
I Corinthians 13:4-8
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