we cannot change the cards we are dealt,
just how we play the hand.
Saturday, March 31, 2007
7:27 AM
Lift
there were two people in the lift, hung eighty one floors by a thread of the cable, and one spoke.
life is too short ain't it.
time stopped for that instant, it was a moment of reckoning as if all that memory in a capsule was unleashed in a second, flashed across the mind of a single soul in captive, young but tired.
and in peace, the other replied.
at least, i did manage to overcome my greatest weakness, even if it were just one bit.
you should be proud of your boy.
the thread snapped. the lift plunged.
the office ladies on heels had a hard time with the steps that day.
the voices in my head-
Wednesday, March 28, 2007
5:25 AM
Simplicity
the pure and simple truth is rarely pure and never simple.
so is love, ain't it.
but there you go, prancing to your tune, you struck the hearts of two on a tender wednesday morning.
and whilst the complexity comes from the being, the being wants to come together with the other, but does not want the complexity of the process.
in this, the complexity taints the simple-ness of love, and it makes him, the being, believe that it is all the same.
but they are not the same.
love draws the two beings together, and so the process follows. in that they seem to be of the same things, but in actual truth, the qualities are entirely different.
in disagreement i despair, because truth so hardly defined these days, the word of the bible strays not.
and i will, in time, learn to believe you.
but till date, spoken by the tragic self-proclaimed protagonist,
love can sometimes be magic. but magic can sometimes, just be an illusion.
there is, much to learn.
for me, for us.
the voices in my head-
Thursday, March 22, 2007
2:48 AM
Ham
i once had two hamsters, pregnant bubbly things that would give birth to hamlings, and then these hamlings would fuck around with one another to give birth to even more hamsterlings.
but hamsters when pregnant, are very angry creatures, and i had them in two separate cages, joint by a common water dripper. the days passed and these two pregnant things get more easily agitated, irked by a little sound and disturbed even by their favourite sunflower seeds.
yet upon the prowess of phobe, hamster one gave birth to a herd of many on a 12th of a month of strawberry shortcakes. and blessed upon the intervention of artemis, hamster two gave birth to a herd of many on a 13th of a month of dappled grafitti.
days soon passed into weeks soon passed into months sooned passed into years and this misfortunate day of a mid march, hamsters and hamlings and hamsterlings gathered at the tip of the water dripper in awe.
bloody hell, they proclaimed. the tip's turned yellow! yellow like cum stains cooked with goreng pisang. yellow like vomit off a pineapple juice. yellow like algaed siew mai and soggy egg tarts.
alas, only hamsters were tall enough for the water dripper. hamlings and hamsterlings were scrawny pink pieces of flesh that could do nothing but see hear taste feel smell, and have sex.
so who else could have yellowed the holy water dripper?
first mover advantage they reckoned, and hamsters went into a spree of finger pointing and tongue tied lashing.
hamster one hung backflipped at the top of its little house and said yakatiyakatiyak about hamster two. hamster two ran the wheel and panted on sheeshawshawsheeshawshaw on hamster one, but pray tell. who speaks the truth?
hamsters are creatures of whiskers and fur, void of fist-sized brains, cheeks of nuts and seeds, paws of dirt and pee. so they do not know, a long laughing fact about the order of life.
and this natural order proclaims that whoever had believed them from the start, would continue to believe them.
and whoever had chosen to disbelieve them, would continue to do so.
backflipped from cage and panting from wheels, ain't going to help the situation, but provide a little comic relief and tragic protagonists for the hamlings and hamsterlings that adore such gossip warfare.
and sometimes, too much explanations only prove that little hamster is afraid. what is there to hide, chip and dale, and hence, what is there to explain?
let the truth reveal itself, for such is the blessed element in time, forcing truth out of nothingness will only bring about happy hamlings and hamsterlings, not hamsters.
as i said, i will no longer seek to defend where there is no need for defence. i will no longer comfort where there is no need for solace.
and if you guys must know, the yellow bit off the water dripper was a tad of a reflection off a rainbow prism.
the voices in my head-
Monday, March 19, 2007
10:11 PM
Quiet Quips
i deliver at least 400 dim sum delicacies but i roll in bed hungry each night.
almost like a prostitute complaining there ain't enough sex to go around.
Qui Sera Sera, what will be will be.
the voices in my head-
Wednesday, March 14, 2007
9:07 PM
CO
there are few things i regret, but in any, each evokes deep self counsel in retrospect.
for starters, there were the incidents where i stuck broomsticks up the backs of my female classmates in primary school, and till RJC they had never let those memories fade.
there too, were affairs of the heart, when one had been hurt too many, when few had been an illusion of choice and a deceit of power, when many proved to be a mirage of status but in fact a pool of nothingness.
and today, two on the hands of the hour, a deep remorse in due place, as i read off my phone and said a silent prayer for a second too little, during my General Biology laboratory.
i should have left school, but alas, i lingered an hour to analyse tobacco leaf protoplasts and differentiate parenchyma from collenchyma.
three on the hands of the hour, it had been too late.
i would have sung this in hokkien for you in smiles, to behold from the depths of the skies, but heaven in itself should have had a translator i trust.
you had been, in twenty one years of my life, the closest by heart in passing. and i fear the next.
God bless.
the voices in my head-
Monday, March 12, 2007
3:25 AM
On Sistic
i am going to watch frozen fish under a downpour when it should have been rainwater swirling down an orangeblack-stripped stairway.
funny how things come in circles.
the voices in my head-
Saturday, March 10, 2007
11:29 PM
Dim Viper Productions
its a mad rush.
each night 2 crates of dim sum snug in the backseat of my car cruising at half the speed of take off, skidding to a stop midnight thereabouts.
i love being a dim sum dolly.
in other news, we have emerged dota champions. but geeks get geeky prizes and i now have a creative webcam which would have served me well in the past, but i ain't no longer in the trade. those who still dwell in adventures of my secondary heritage drop me a message and i'd gladly pass you my web of creativity.
its 11:34pm of a saturday night and i had spent the last 13 hours hitting myself with backstage poles and coiling myself with the wires of a stage manager's console, while half blinding myself with floodlights and my dick overflowing with foreskin, shrunk up in the cold, and i wonder what the fuck did i chew off.
cadbury, i suppose.
but as the curtain fell, much like recee's receding hairline, i hear a little squeal of excitement from the chief stage manager and a characteristic tone of feigned stress from a distant lawyer, and i knew somehow, it was worth my foreskin.
the voices in my head-
Sunday, March 04, 2007
8:08 AM
Red Chin
how can there possibly be so much red tape in orange?
and my head tells the chin, politics and food don't mix.
the voices in my head-
i love my girl. a love so beautiful, symmetrical, tangible
God loves me. a love so great, unconditional, real.
my life in a nutshell. working towards loves of sorts. beautiful, symmetrical, tangible, great, unconditional and real.
a page, deliberately left blank.
Love is patient, love is kind.
It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
It is not rude, it is not self-seeking.
It is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails.
I Corinthians 13:4-8
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